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Transformations of Ecstasy in Service
প ্ র ে ম ে র ব ৈ চ ি ত ্ ত ্ য গ ত প ্ র ে ম ে র ব ি ব র ্ ত ্ ত য ত premera vaichitya-gata premera vivarta yata yata –The vaichitya-gata –pangs premera –of love [and the] yata vivarta –transformations premera –of love nirantara –constantly nache –dance mora mane –within my heart. ami –I kalaha kari –quarrel gaurera sane –with Gaura dine dine –every day. mora –My nama –name [is] “kundale jagai” –“Angry Jagai”. [1] The pangs and transformations of love constantly dance within my heart. I quarrel with Gaura every day, and thus I am known as “Angry Jagai”. গ ে ল া ম ব ্ র জ ে দ ে খ ি ব া র ে র হ ি স ন া ত ন ে র ঘ র ে gelama vraja dekhibare rahi sanatanera ghare gelama –I went dekhibare –to see vraja –Vraja. rahi –I stayed sanatanera ghare –at Sanatan’s place. kalaha karinu –I quarrelled tara sane –with him. [When] ba̐ dhi’ –he tied sannyasira –a sannyasi’s rakta-vastra –red cloth sire –on [his] head [and] dhira –calmly aila –came [before me, ] mane kainu –I decided marite –to beat [him] bhatera ha̐ di –with a rice pot. [2] I went to see Vraja, and while staying at Sanatan’s place, I quarrelled with him. When he tied a sannyasi’s red cloth on his head and calmly came before me, I decided to beat him with a rice pot. স ন া ত ন ে র ব ি ন য ় দ ে খ ে ছ া ড ় ি ’ ত া র ে এ ক প া ক ে sanatanera vinaya dekhe chhadi’ tare eka pake dekhe –I saw sanatanera –Sanatan’s vinaya –humility, chhadi’ –left tare –him eka pake –alone, [and] lajjaya –shamefully basinu –sat eka dhare –to one side. mora –My gaura –Gaura jane –knows yata –everything. pathaya –He sent amaya –me vrndavane –to Vrndavan [and] dekhe –observed maja –the result nije thaki’ –while Himself remaining dure –at a distance. [3] When I saw Sanatan’s humility, I left him alone and shamefully sat to one side. My Gaura knows everything: He sent me to Vrndavan and observed the result from afar. ভ া ল ত া র হ উ ক স ু খ ম ো র হ উ ক চ ি র দ ু ঃ খ bhala tara ha-uka sukha mora ha-uka chira duhkha bhala –Good! tara sukha ha-uka –Let Him be happy, [and] morachira duhkha ha-uka –let me be sad forever. mora sukha habe –I will be happy tara sukhe –with His happiness. ratra-dine –Night and day ami –I ka̐ di –cry, bhavi’ –feeling gaura-vichchheda –separation from Gaura mane –at heart, [but] gaura –Gaura hase –laughs dekhi’ –seeing [my] ka̐ da –crying mukha –face. [4] Good! He can be happy, and I can be sad forever. His happiness will be my happiness. Night and day I cry, feeling separation from Gaura, but Gaura laughs seeing my crying face. স ে ই ত ’ ক প ট ন ্ য া স ী ত া র ল ী ল া ভ া ল ব া স ি sei ta’ kapata-nyasi tara lila bhalavasi sei ta’ –He [is] kapata-nyasi –a deceitful sannyasi, [but] bhalavasi –I love tara –His lila –Pastimes. tara –His kathaguli –words [are] madhu-makha –full of nectar. ebe –Now bheve –The Lord is feeling punah –again ye bhava sei bhava –the same mood [He felt] vrajete –in Vraja. bujheo –Although I understand [this, ] ara bara –sometimes bujhi na –I do not understand [it]. [5] He is a deceitful sannyasi, but I love His Pastimes. His words are full of nectar. The Lord is now feeling the same mood that He felt in Vraja. Although I understand this, sometimes I do not. চ ন ্ দ ন া দ ি ত ৈ ল আ ন ি ’ ব া ঁ ক া ব া ঁ ক া ক থ া শ ু ন ি ’ chandanadi taila ani’ ba̐ ka ba̐ ka katha suni’ ani’ –I brought chandanadi –sandalwood taila –oil [for Him, but] suni’ –after hearing [His] ba̐ ka ba̐ ka katha –stubborn remarks, bhangilama –I broke taila-bhanda –the pot of oil bale –forcibly. mana kari’ –Angrily, suna rainu –I layed nijasane –on my bed anasane –fasting. bhangila –He pacified [my] se mana –anger nanachhale –with various pleas. [6] I brought some sandalwood oil for Him, but after hearing His stubborn remarks, I smashed the pot of oil. Angrily, I layed on my bed fasting, but He pacified my anger with various pleas. আ ম া র ে ক র া য ় প া ক অ ন ্ ন ব ্ য ঞ ্ জ ন আ ব ো ন া শ া ক amare karaya paka anna-vyanjana abona saka karaya –He had amare –me paka –cook anna-vyanjana –rice, vegetables, [and] abona –wild saka –spinach. bale –He said, “[Your] “krodhera paka –angry cooking [is] bada –very mista” –sweet.” badaya –He increased amara –my rosa –anger [and] tate –so tarasantosa –He [was] pleased. tara –His prasannata –satisfaction [is] mora –my ista –desire. [7] He had me cook rice, vegetables, and wild spinach. He said, “Your angry cooking is very sweet.” He increased my anger and so was pleased. His satisfaction is my desire. জ ি জ ্ ঞ া স ি ল স ন া ত ন য া ই ত ে ক ৈ ন ু ব ৃ ন ্ দ া ব ন jijnasila sanatana yaite kainu vrndavana sanatana –Sanatan jijnasila –asked [me for advice, and] kainu –I told [him] yaite –to go vrndavana –to Vrndavan. more boka kari’ rakhe –The Lord deemed me a fool tate –for this. dekhi’ –Seeing tara –His balya –childish buddhi –mentality, chitte chamatkara haya –I was amazed at heart, [and] ami –I dhari’ –grasped tara –His pada-padma –lotus feet. [8] Once, Sanatan asked me for advice, and I told him to go to Vrndavan. The Lord deemed me a fool for this. Seeing His childish mentality, I was amazed at heart, and I grasped His lotus feet. ব ৃ ন ্ দ া ব ন য া ই ত ে চ া ই ত া ত ে আ জ ্ ঞ া ন া হ ি প া ই vrndavana yaite chai tate ajna nahi pai chai –I wanted yaite –to go vrndavana –to Vrndavan, [but] pai nahi –I did not receive ajna –permission tate –to do so. kare –He gave mora sane –me nana –various chhala –excuses. yakhana –When kondala haya –we quarrelled, [however] kaya –He told [me] yete –to go navadvipe –to Nabadwip, [and] mane jani –I accepted sei –that [as] tara –His krpa –mercy. [9] I wanted to go to Vrndavan, but I did not receive His permission: He gave me various excuses. When we quarrelled, however, He told me to go to Nabadwip, and I accepted that as His mercy. ম া ত ৃ -আ জ ্ ঞ া ছ ল ক র ি ’ আ ছ ে ন ব ৈ ক ু ণ ্ ঠ প ু র ী matr-ajna chhala kari’ achhena vaikunthapuri chhadiya –He left nija-dhama –His home, [and] matr-ajna chhalakari’ –using the pretext of His mother’s order, achhena –He is ekhana –now vaikunthapuri –in Jagannath Puri. pathaya –He sends tate yahake –those whom se –He krpa kare –blesses nija-pure –to His abode, [where they] yena gopera goloka-darsana –can see Goloka as the cowherd men did. [10] He left His home, and on the pretext of His mother’s order, He is now in Jagannath Puri. He sends those whom He blesses to His abode, where they can behold Goloka as the cowherd men did.* *Srimad Bhagavatam (10.28) describes that Nanda Maharaj was once captured by the attendants of Varuna while bathing in the River Yamuna. After Krsna rescued Nanda Maharaj from Varuna’s abode, Nanda Maharaj described both Varuna’s majesty and Varuna’s reverence for Krsna to the cowherd men, who under the cover of yogamaya were amazed that Krsna was the Supreme Lord. They then wondered whether Krsna would ever show them His abode in the spiritual world. Knowing that the cowherd men were unaware of their own supreme fortune of already being in the expansion of His personal abode on earth, Gokula, Krsna fulfilled their desire. He briefly removed them from Gokula, showed them that Goloka, His abode in the spiritual world, is above both Brahmaloka and Vaikuntha, and then revealed Himself in Goloka being worshipped by the personified Vedas. As the cowherd men rejoiced in astonishment, Krsna effortlessly returned them to Gokula. এ ই ভ া ব ে গ ৌ র -স ে ব া ক র ি আ ম ি র া ত ্ র দ ি ব া ei bhave gaura-seva kari ami ratra-diva ei bhave –In this way, ami –I gaura-seva kari –serve Gaura ratra-diva –night and day. ei ta’ –This [is] svabhava –the nature gaura-ganera –of Gaura’s associates. gaura-gadadhara-pada –The feet of Gaura and Gadadhar [are] amara ta’ –my sampada –wealth. damodara –Svarup Damodar jnane –understands ei –this bhava –mood. [11] In this way, I serve Gaura night and day. This is the nature of Gaura’s associates. The feet of Gaura and Gadadhar are my wealth. Svarup Damodar understands this mood. Chapter Six জ ী ব - গ ত ি Jiva-gati The Journey of the Soul জ ী ব ও ক ৃ ষ ্ ণ Jiva o krsna The soul and Krsna চ ি ৎ ক ণ জ ী ব, ক ৃ ষ ্ ণ চ ি ন ্ ম য ় ভ া স ্ ক র । chit-kana jiva, krsna chinmaya bhaskara jiva –The soul [is] chit-kana –a spiritual spark, [and] krsna –Krsna [is] chinmaya bhaskara –the spiritual sun. dekhi’ –Seeing nitya-krsna –eternal Krsna, adara karena –the soul adores krsne –Krsna. [1] The soul is a spiritual spark, and Krsna is the spiritual sun. Seeing eternal Krsna, the soul adores Him. ম া য ় া গ ্ র স ্ ত জ ী ব Maya-grasta jiva The soul bound by Maya ক ৃ ষ ্ ণ -ব হ ি র ্ ম ্ ম ু খ হ ঞ া ভ ো গ ব া ঞ ্ ছ া ক র ে । krsna-bahirmukha hana bhoga vanchha kare [When] hana –souls become krsna-bahirmukha –averse to Krsna [and] vanchha kare –desire bhoga –enjoyment, nikatastha –nearby maya –Maya japatiya dhare –seizes tare –them. [2] When souls become averse to Krsna and desire enjoyment, nearby Maya seizes them. প ি শ া চ ী প া ই ল ে য ে ন ম ত ি চ ্ ছ ন ্ ন হ য ় । pisachi paile yena mati-chchhanna haya pisachi paile –When someone is possessed by a ghost, haya –they become mati-chchhanna –bewildered. se bhava –This condition yena –similarly jivera udaya haya –overtakes souls maya-grasta –bound by Maya. [3] When someone is possessed by a ghost, they become bewildered. This condition overtakes souls bound by Maya. “আ ম ি ন ি ত ্ য ক ৃ ষ ্ ণ দ া স ” এ ই ক থ া ভ ু ল ে “ami nitya krsna-dasa” ei katha bhule “ami –I [am] nitya krsna-dasa” –an eternal servant of Krsna.” bhule –Forgetting ei –this katha –principle, hana –souls become naphara –slaves mayara –of Maya [and] bule –wander chira-dina –indefinitely. [4] Forgetting, “I am an eternal servant of Krsna”, souls become slaves of Maya and wander indefinitely. ক ভ ু র া জ া ক ভ ু প ্ র জ া ক ভ ু ব ি প ্ র শ ূ দ ্ র । kabhu raja kabhu praja kabhu vipra sudra [They are] kabhu –sometimes raja –kings, [and] kabhu –sometimes praja –subjects; kabhu –sometimes vipra –brahmans, [and] kabhu –sometimes sudra –sudras; kabhu –sometimes duhkhi –sad, kabhu –sometimes sukhi –happy, [and sometimes] kita ksudra –insignificant ants. [5] They are sometimes kings, and sometimes subjects; sometimes brahmans, and sometimes sudras; sometimes sad, sometimes happy, and sometimes insignificant ants. ক ভ ু স ্ ব র ্ গ ে, ক ভ ু ম র ্ ত ্ ত ্ য ে, ন র ক ে ব া ক ভ ু । kabhu svarge, kabhu martye, narake va kabhu [They are] kabhu –sometimes svarge –in heaven, kabhu –sometimes martye –on earth, kabhu va –and sometimes narake –in hell; kabhu –sometimes deva –gods, [and] kabhu –sometimes daitya –demons; kabhu –sometimes dasa –servants, [and sometimes] prabhu –masters. [6] They are sometimes in heaven, sometimes on earth, and sometimes in hell; sometimes gods, and sometimes demons; sometimes servants, and sometimes masters. স া ধ ু স ঙ ্ গ ে ন ি স ্ ত া র Sadhu-sange nistara |
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